Tipping the Scales
Sometimes, a song’s lyrics just hit you… They sum up everything in your heart, even things you didn’t know you were feeling or thinking… That’s part of why I love writing songs so much, and it’s part of why I love listening to and singing them.
The car is still the best place I know to really hear a song, to let a song get inside you. Acoustics, maybe… but I think it’s more than that… I think it’s because there’s no where else to go.
As many songs as I’ve heard, sung, and written, there are some that just stay with me. It might be because they marked a certain era for me, or a certain event.
Billy Joel’s “James” is one of those songs:
“James”
James
We were always friends from our childhood days.
And we made our plans,
And we had to go our sep’rate ways.
I went on the road,
You pursued an education.
James
Do you like your life?
Can you find release?
And will you ever change?
Will you ever write your masterpiece?
Are you still in school
Living up to expectations?
James
You were so relied upon,
Ev’rybody knows how hard you tried.
Hey
Oh, look at what a job you’ve done,
Carrying the weight of fam’ly pride.
James
You’ve been well behaved, you’ve been working hard
But will you always stay
Someone else’s dream of who you are?
Do what’s good for you
Or you’re not good for anybody.
James
I went on the road,
You pursued an education.
James
How you gonna know for sure?
Ev’rything was so well organized.
Hey
Oh, now ev’rything is so secure,
and ev’rybody else is satisfied.
James
Do you like your life?
Can you find release?
And will you ever change?
When will you write your masterpiece?
Do what’s good for you
Or you’re not good for anybody.
James
I heard this song at a point in my life when I’d had enough. This song gave me the courage to leave my family’s business… At the time, I hadn’t finished any masterpieces yet, and that thought scared me…
Today was the first time in a long time that I’d heard this song. I was in the car, and I was driving on many of the roads that I drove then. A lot has changed, yet, I still have a similar fear:
And though I’ve completed a few of my works, what worries me now is not getting them out there… I’m still figuring out how to balance work and following through on my dreams and family without sacrificing any of them.
Even famed Broadway producer Rocco Landesman (in Freakonomics: Rocco Landesman Answers Your Broadway Questions) seems to be stumped when he answered a reader’s similar query with the following response:
Q: How do you “break in” as a director or performer? How do you then balance family, children, auditions, rehearsals, etc.?
A: I can’t really help on this one. It’s very hard, and you have to be incredibly determined — to be incapable of not doing it. There is no real work/life balancing — the profession tends to be all-consuming.
This seems like a problem of Solomonic proportions. A life cannot be split in two, neither can a heart, and neither can a person. So what’s the answer?
Maybe the answer is a simple one: To stop trying to split myself… To feel blessed that my life is so full of so much love–for my family and my work. As I write this, I am remembering Edward Albee’s tender words from his acceptance of a Tony Award for Lifetime Achievement:
“If they wait until you do achieve lifetime work, you probably will have died. This is better.
…He made me a happy playwright. And you have made me a happy playwright tonight.”
Albee dedicated his award to the cherished memory of his partner of 35 years, sculptor Jonathan Thomas, who passed away a short time ago.
Even with the daily minutiae, I’m a happy and blessed playwright.
–Sue
Add comment March 11th, 2008
